Dear Real Life: Please Give Me A Break

Hello Caller,

You’ve reached my Real Life.

For the next few weeks, I will be on hiatus from you — a heavy-duty, action-packed corporate job at a Fortune 5X company, months of caring for an ailing hubby (including picking up his share of household tasks such as lawn mowing, pet care, and all errands), and generally collapsing into an exhausted heap every night.

After months of saving and planning, (and last minute changes to those plans necessitated by hubby’s ailments and weather-related issues), the kids and I are leaving Real Life and your 24/7 circus of stress, to-do lists, and overflowing e-mailboxes.

We are going far, far away from you to visit three large West Coast cities by train, plane and automobile. We will be surrounded by people who don’t know you, Real Life. We will be the fun, energetic people that we are when Real Life is not dragging us down.

Real Life, please don’t bother hubby, who is staying home and continuing to convalesce. We’ve hired someone to come in from time to time to clean the cat-boxes, scoop the dog poop, run errands for him, and mow the lawn. We wish he could come with, but he’ll have to take a pass this time around. Other than wishing he was well, we know he had a lovely trip earlier this year, so we don’t feel TOO sorry for him. He is well supplied with his favorite bachelor food, we’ve moved the bed closer to the TV, and he has a brand new Rx for muscle relaxers. He’s flying high.

If anything urgent comes up while we’re away, Real Life, please have the decency not to bother us with it. We promise we will be back in two weeks and we’ll be rested and ready to handle whatever you want to throw at us then.

Just please give it a rest until then.

Thank you.